


Gnome More Bad Puns

by PoorUnfortunateSoul



Series: BokuAkaKuro Week 2016 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bad Puns, Bokuakakuro Week 2016, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 11:31:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6852886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoorUnfortunateSoul/pseuds/PoorUnfortunateSoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We’re going to have a pun-off,” Bokuto said giddily. </p><p>	“And you needed me here because?” Akaashi asked.</p><p>	Kuroo looked up then, tongue still sticking out from the corner of his mouth from concentration. </p><p>	“You’re how we’re keeping track points.”</p><p>	Akaashi just stared at him, unimpressed. </p><p>	“You make faces when we say puns,” Kuroo went on, “and that’s how we know if the pun was good or not.”</p><p>-<br/>bokuakakuro week 2016 day one - Rivalry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gnome More Bad Puns

    Akaashi sat down while Kuroo grabbed a piece of paper from the stack they keep on the TV stand. They used to keep it by the printer, but that only seemed to encourage Bokuto to print out tons of owls, and the ink was expensive as it was. It wasn’t like Akaashi could just stop buying it, as he needed for school. Walking half-way across the house to get a few sheets for his essay seemed like a small price to pay.

 

     Kuroo made a line down the middle and named one column KUROO and the other BOKUTO. He made another line at the bottom, titling these ones as TOTAL POINTS. Akaashi raised an eyebrow.

 

     “We’re going to have a pun-off,” Bokuto said giddily.

                   

     “And you needed me here because?” Akaashi asked.

 

     Kuroo looked up then, tongue still sticking out from the corner of his mouth from concentration.

 

     “You’re how we’re keeping track points.”

 

     Akaashi just stared at him, unimpressed.

 

     “You make faces when we say puns,” Kuroo went on, “and that’s how we know if the pun was good or not.”

 

     “I wouldn’t call _any_ of your puns ‘good’,” Akaashi deadpanned.

 

     Bokuto grinned, “That’s how you know a pun is good!”

 

     Kuroo nodded in agreement, “You know it’s good if you get a groan.”

 

     Bokuro early agreed with their boyfriend with a nod of the head. Kuroo straightened up and put the cap of the pen in his mouth. Akaashi sneered and pulled it out, wiping the spit on the end on Bokuto’s shirt; he didn’t seem to mind.

 

     “You ready, bro?” Kuroo asked.

 

     “I was _born_ ready.”

 

     “Yeah? Well, I was ready when I was still cooking in the _womb,_ ” Kuroo responded.

 

     “I was ready when my parents were still in the process of conceiving me!”

 

     “I was ready when I was still a sperm in my dad’s-“

 

     “Can we please just start already!” Akaashi screeched, placing a hand on each of his boyfriends’ chests, eager to end the fighting.

 

     He pushed them so they fell back in their spots, smirks firmly in place.

 

     “Oh, the humanatee,” Bokuto drawled.

 

     Akaashi sighed and Kuroo placed a three in Bokuto’s column.

 

     “My turn!” Kuroo said cheerfully. “What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?”

 

     “What?” Bokuto said, leaning in closer.

 

     “You may have graduated, but I’ve got many _degrees!”_

Akaashi sighed again while Bokuto practically cackled next to him. Grinning, Kuroo placed a three in his own column.

 

     “How does God make coffee? Hebrews it!” Bokuto shouted, staring eagerly at Akaashi for a reaction.

 

     Akaashi rolled his eyes. Kuroo placed a four in Bokuto’s column.

 

     “I don’t trust atoms,” Kuroo said seriously, “I hear they make everything up.”

 

     Akaashi sighed. Defeated, Kuroo writes a three in his column.

 

     “I don’t get that one,” Bokuto declared.

 

     Glaring at Bokuto, Kuroo erased the three and put a two.

 

     “It’s no longer a matter when I kill next, but rather, _hoo_ ,” Bokuto said, looking between his boyfriends.

 

     Kuroo smirked and wrote a one in Bokuto’s column when Akaashi just blinked.

 

     “Want to hear more chemistry puns?” Kuroo asked.

 

     “No,” said Akaashi, at the same time Bokuto said, “yes.”

 

     “Well, don’t worry. I’ll be telling you them, _periodically.”_

 

     Bokuto snickered and Akaashi blew out a puff of air, letting his lips vibrate as he did so. Kuroo placed a six in his column.

 

     “How many licks does it take to get the center of your heart?” Bokuto asked, leaning against Akaashi’s shoulder and fluttering his eyelids at him.

 

     Akaashi brushed him off and said, “That one wasn’t even a pun. Don’t give him points for that one.”   

 

     Kuroo wrote an eight in Bokuto’s column.

 

     “What was the charge when NaCl was arrested? A salt!”

 

     Akaashi stared at the table, cursing himself for whatever he’d done in a past life to gain boyfriends like his. That one was a four.

 

     “What do you call a magician owl? A hooooodini!”

 

     Akaashi groaned and threw his head back against the couch. Kuroo wrote a ten.

 

     “What kind of a fish is made of two sodium atoms? A two – Na!” Kuroo said.

 

     Akaashi leaned forward and rubbed his temples. Kuroo wrote a nine.

 

     “Knock knock!” Bokuto said, rapping his knuckles against the table.

 

     “Who’s there?” Kuroo sung out.

 

     “Owl!”

 

     “That’s right, owl’s hoo,” Akaashi drawled.

 

     “What?” asked Kuroo.

 

     “Akaashi, you can’t steal my punchline!” Bokuto argued.

 

     “It’s not my fault all of your puns are so un-owl-rignal,” Akaashi said.

 

     Kuroo howled and Bokuto slumped forward in defeat.

 

     “And you!” Akaashi said, pointing at Kuroo, who yelped, “I’m taking your chemistry jokes and I’m going to _barium_.  Chemistry jokes are horrible; they lack the _element_ of surprise. And they won’t get a _reaction_ out of me.”

 

     Kuroo’s jaw dropped open. Bokuto leaned over the table, taking the paper from Kuroo. He made another column for Akaashi, and wrote an infinity sign in his column.

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I doing this to myself right after Kenhina week.


End file.
